Wedang Jahe

Put On Your Dancing Shoes: Meet the New Cast of DWTS

First Up ... The Women:

Audrina Patridge

Brandy

Bristol Palin

Florence Henderson

Jennifer Grey

Margaret Cho

And Now ... The Men:

David Hasselhoff

Kurt Warner

Kyle Massey

Michael Bolton

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino

Rick Fox

Getty

Severn Gurls

I thought, given that Katy Perry is signalling the death of postwar western civilisation through her evil song _California Gurls_, that I would try to persuade myself and anyone who wishes to read that life goes on. Building, making things, creating families goes on. Even after Katy Perry and her festival of zero.

Well, to be honest, it's not easy.

Because sun-kissed skin so hot it'll melt your popsicle, even though or perhaps even because it's so self-contradictory, so utterly meaningless given its stated objective, its clear innuendo-meaning - because that is so shit, language seems to have been finally shat out after a 50 year curry and 50 years of crap, factory made lager; because, ultimately, even pop music has conflicted itself in its own greatest exponents, and they, as they speak, have called for erectile dysfunction in the midst of "undeniable" hot sex teenage girls -

because of all that, meaning has now finally been flushed down the karzee.

Meaning has finally, thankfully, been disowned. We no longer need a word or a phrase to correspond to an idea.

Think about it, you twats, think about it: a pop song asks to you want to fuck teenage girls. Then it tells you they're so hot your popsicle will *melt*. You will just go soft, just sort of being there.

I really don't think that it means you will come in your pants.

Really. I don't.

It means the literal opposite of what it intends to mean.

Language is dead. Words have no purpose.

Katy Perry killed language.

Dante is too dead to save it; Chaucer too ironic; Shakspear too involved in non-existent persons;Pope too into the sounds of words; Austen in ghastly inter-human relations;Dickens in the...the...play of words, pictures and sentences. After Dickens everyone is toying with their own history. Plath is killed doing it, Hughes after having sex with words; Larkin hates words too much; Roth just has too many of them. Orwell thinks words mean something, for fuck's sake; Hardy thinks they are about how there is no God (probably) and Amis (jun) veers from the play of words to the play of his memories.

Shit.

Language was killed by Katy Perry. She sliced it open with an auto-tune.

Open and its guts spilled into the air, to be eaten by the Eagles and vultures and Beatles and flies and Airplanes and to be left alone, token gut by chitterling, to fly away.

Fly away.

Devoted to You

Here's a short instrumental by Planetshakers... its not note-for-note accurate but its almost there!-14b16-14b16-r14-14-12--11h12-9-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------9-----------------------12p9----12p9-------------------------------11--9-----------------------------

2010 Emmy Awards: Glamour Girls

These glamour girls look radiant and ravishing on the red carpet. Eva, Lea, January, and our other famous small-screen stars certainly made a big impression at the 2010 Emmy Awards.